Signs Ex Wants You Back

The Biggest Signs That Your Ex Wants You Back

You look for it every single day, like a sailor watching the horizon... signs that your boyfriend or girlfriend might still want you back.

And so you scrutinize every text message. You read through old emails. You re-hash the breakup speech, searching for any tiny kernal that your ex still loves you, or at the very least, has feelings for you. Because maybe, you rationalize, you can use those feelings to somehow win them back.

Signs Ex Has Feelings

So what exactly are these signs?

Which signals are definite indications that your former lover still isn't over you yet, and which are just signs of false hope and wishful thinking?

Knowing When Your Ex is Reaching Out

Every breakup has a path to reversal. Every time someone is dumped, there are a number of set steps they can take that will win the other person back.

But along the way? Knowing when to act is crucial. Because if you make any sudden moves before you start seeing the signs that your ex is questioning the breakup? You could spook them so badly they go away for good.

Below are six of the biggest signals you'll see out of your former boyfriend or girlfriend when they're starting to doubt the breakup. Some are more obvious than others, but all of them are important.

How Can You Tell When Your Ex Still Wants You?

Recognizing when your break up might only be temporary

Before your ex will take you back, there's the process of rationalization. Your former boyfriend or girlfriend will need to redeem you in their eyes - and most times in the eyes of others too, like friends or family - before they're willing to get back together with you again.

Signs Ex Still Loves Me

Remember, your ex probably badmouthed you. His or her friends jumped on the bandwagon. Parading you around again after all this trash talk is almost like the walk of shame.

It's like saying "Yeah, all that stuff I was saying about this person I dumped? I didn't mean it. Things between us are cool again, so you can be cool with them too."

Your ex's friends and family have the obligation to turn the other cheek. Maybe they agreed with your ex, or said damaging stuff about you in 'support' of the breakup. Now they have to keep their mouths shut, and try to forget all that stuff they said. Like it never happened.

So in essence, getting back together becomes a sort of process. And the beginning of that process is usually when your ex starts feeling you out, to see how you will react to the prospect of being boyfriend and girlfriend again.

Feeling you out requires getting back in touch. Or maybe seeing you and dropping a few hints. Flirting comes into play. Or your ex might even get their friends - or better yet, your friends - involved too.


One of the more obvious things that happens when your former lover is having second thoughts is they start getting back in touch with you. This can happen with something as small as an innocent text message, or something full-blown like a phone call or even your ex showing up to see you face to face.

What's happening is your ex is intentionally reopening the lines of communication. Whereas before they were shutting you out, now they're steering intentionally into your path.

Take this as a sign your ex is still interested. Don't run with it too much though, and let your ex do most of the contacting/talking. The last thing you want to do here is start chasing them again.


A breakup is like a divorce; you split your assets, and usually those assets include people. He takes his friends, she takes her friends, and whatever shared friends you had with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend are fair game.

So when those friends start talking to or communicating with you again? It's because your ex told them to. They're feeling you out - acting as reconnaissance and scouting out how receptive you might be toward talking to your ex again.

These people might also be spying on you to get a better picture of your situation. Are you still hung up on your ex? Did you still want them back? Have you seen anyone else, during the breakup, or are you maybe involved in another relationship right now? These are all questions your ex wants to know, and they might definitely use their friends to get answers.


When your ex still loves you it's not always something they'll show. Usually those feelings will stay buried, only to rise to the surface when your ex is lonely, nostalgic... or drunk.

Alcohol is awesome in this respect, in that it lowers inhibitions. What your ex-lover might be afraid to say to you during the day is something they can more easily let slip after a night of drinking, or a lonely night of laying in bed and thinking about your relationship.

The drunk dial is ALWAYS a sign your ex has feelings for you. It doesn't matter what they say. It doesn't even matter if they make any sense. All that's important here is that your ex is thinking about you, and at this very vulnerable moment they just let their guard down.

No matter what your ex has to say, let them talk. Be receptive. Don't jump back into the "I have feelings for you too" trap - if you say this, your ex might hang up because they just got what they wanted. Instead, play it cool. Your goal here is to draw your ex in, and make them feel like they have the potential to lose you forever.


When you get dumped, that person will usually stay as far as possible from you. They're cold. Distant. And all of this is because they know you still love them, and will probably do your best to try to get them back.

If you experienced this already, you know what I'm talking about. But as time goes on, your ex might start getting friendly again. Maybe they'll show up places they expect you to be, or even drop you a "how's things?" text message to see what you're up to.

Maybe you work with your ex or see them at school, and all of a sudden, they're friendly to you again. They smile rather than ignore you. Maybe they even start conversations that get borderline flirtatious.

None of these things are innocent. All of them are signs of renewed interest.

That said, try to pay close attention to your ex's behavior as the breakup wears on. If they contact you more, it's because they need to hear from you. If you see them, pay attention to their mannerisms and body language. In short, everything counts.


Physically needing to see you again is a huge indication your boyfriend or girlfriend is having second thoughts. A person who wants to move on from a prior relationship will avoid their ex for a long while, so when they want to actually see you face to face it's because they can no longer stand to be away.

Meet up with your ex whereever they might suggest, and try to make it light and fun. But before you do, make sure you know exactly what to say and do during the reunion date.

Your ex might also want to meet you for sex. If this is the case, you can use this hookup to your advantage. Having sex with your ex can be something that brings the two of you instantly closer again, on the most intimate of levels. Just make sure you go into it knowing it might not mean as much to your ex as it does to you.

Finally, there are also ways to get your ex to meet with you in the event they haven't been that responsive. Learn what these ways are, and use them to make your ex want to contact you.


When most couples break up, a mutual getting back together is simple. But when one or both people see, date, or sleep with someone else in the interm? That can complicate or even destroy things.

So one of the biggest signs that your ex isn't over your relationship? When they go out of their way to let you know they're not dating anyone right now. And they can do this any number of ways; through friends, through word of mouth, or even through social media.

What your ex is saying here is "Hey, I'm not going to see anybody else right now, so you shouldn't either." They're watching to make sure you haven't moved on, and this puts you in the driver's seat. It's a tremendous sign that they themselves only see the break as a temporary thing.

What if Your Ex Shows None of These Signs?

How to get things moving if your ex has been unresponsive

Hey, every person is different. And although every breakup scenario shares certain qualities, they can't always be approached in exactly the same way.

If your ex hasn't responded to anything you've done so far, you might need additional help in prompting them. And the best help in this situation is getting gender-specific advice. Why? Because what works on a man won't always work on a woman (and vice versa).

That's where Brad Browning's Ex Factor System comes into play:

The Ex Factor System will jumpstart ANY BREAKUP SITUATION. You'll learn quick adjustments that will garner instant results, and find out which approach can best get your ex talking, communicating, and most of all, missing and loving you again.

Check out this free reconnection video, geared specifically for women currently trying to reconcile with an ex boyfriend.

And for men trying to get a girlfriend back, another version can be found here.

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The Magic of Making Up